He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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