Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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