I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
