what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Are we still banned from the library?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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