There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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