I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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