were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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