we're blogging at a bar
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
