What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
