My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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