Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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