I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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