Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
