He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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