There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You almost got us killed.
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