Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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