i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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