I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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