I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
