i think my mom watched the whole time
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
