I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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