So drunk its hurt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
