Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
