Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
