But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
