i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
