:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
