You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the condom got lost in my hair
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
