I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
