The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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