just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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