Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
