I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
