I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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