Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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