I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
