I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
