We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
