he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
