just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
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