I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
