oh god the rape fog is back!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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