I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
