i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
