I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
