i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
