i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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