I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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