I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
