Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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