Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
